Letters to Bee: Week 11

My Little Bee -

You're just about 12 weeks old, and from what I heard at the last ultrasound, a little jumping gummy bear! We tried to get you to show off for us during the ultrasound on Monday, but you were being shy and hiding most of the time. I was so happy that the doctor confirmed that you were right on track for growth and that you had a beautiful heartbeat. I can't wait to see you at the next scan!

It's so hard to explain the love that I already have for you. I've been so cautious not to get my hopes up, but when we hear good news at the doctor it gives me a small reprieve and I'm so incredibly excited to be your mom.

We had chromosome testing this week to make sure that you're healthy, and we'll hear back on that and if you're a baby boy or girl. I used to dream about what sex I'd have, but through all of the trials we've been through, I just want you to be happy and healthy. Boy or girl, your dad and I will be thrilled.

Since we're both over the fruit you're the size of this week (especially since the OB shook her head at me when I said you were a lime this week,) I decided to consult a more manly version of "How Big Are You This Week". On Saturday, you're going to be a half eaten corn dog, or the size of a small measuring tape!

You've already brought me so much happiness and hope, and I can't wait to meet you soon!

Love,
Mom

[9 Weeks 6 Days] Getting Excited!

After the 9 week ultrasound and seeing our little bee moving around and hearing a beautiful heartbeat, I think I'm finally switching over from looking at this pregnancy every day with horrible anxiety to finally being so excited I want to tell everyone I run into.

I don't know if it's the fact that we've had two ultrasounds and we're going to be 10 weeks pregnant tomorrow (so close to 2nd semester!), but I'm actually loving this time. When I was dealing with IF, I had so many feelings looking at baby pins on Pinterest, or going into baby stores. When I had to buy baby shower gifts, I'd go to the store and get a gift card. Some days were better than ever, but overall, it was just painful to even let myself hope that one day I'd be the one going into the store to pick out onesies for my own baby.

I told Mr. Bee how excited I am to be able to share in this with him and do things like look at nursery decor, find baby names, and look at all sorts of adorable baby clothes.  In fact, we're going shopping for a family car (for baby plus two large dogs), and all I can think about was the last time we went car shopping and how my stomach dropped every time someone at the dealership asked if we had children. Even though car shopping is rarely fun, I'm looking forward to it just because I have a great answer for when I get that question that I once dreaded so much.

I text with A almost every day, and I always feel much better knowing that she's doing well and also able to carry on with her own life. I honestly couldn't have ever dreamed I'd find such a good friend through this process, and can't imagine going through this with anyone else.

A has her 11 week check-up with her OB on November 4, and then we'll schedule the NT Scan. I'd also like to schedule a more conclusive test like the Harmony or MaterniT21 for peace of mind, and because I have health issues of my own and want to make sure that I'm mentally prepared in case for some reason we get less than optimal news. Are any of you going to get one of the more conclusive tests?

I'm excited to fall asleep and wake up tomorrow knowing that I'm the mama to a baby the size of a prune. Happy 10 weeks!

Letters to Bee: 7 Weeks

Baby Bee,

I like to think I'm seeing your face here,
but it could really be anything.

I haven't written in a little while, but you're 7 weeks, 4 days old! The last two weeks have been some of the most stressful of my life, worrying if you were going to be our sticky baby. So far, it looks like our dreams are coming true!

A was nice enough to come out over the weekend for the 7 week ultrasound. We all gathered in the exam room and your dad and I hugged and closed our eyes while we waited for the ultrasound. When we looked up, there you were! We weren't quite sure what we were looking at, but we could see your strong heartbeat flickering up on the screen. I cried. I could have watched that screen forever.

Of course, I tried to get more details like what your heart rate was, but was told I had to wait two more weeks until I'd get to know. Waiting is so hard, and for some reason, I'm still not learning patience.

This week you're a blueberry, and by the time I see you next, you'll already be an olive. Next time, you might be a horse. These fruits and vegetables are pretty silly. I know that you're the strongest out of all of our embryos, and so many people are keeping you in their prayers. Don't give A too much trouble these next couple weeks, and grow, grow, grow!

Love,
Mom

Great Article on Surrogacy

I love reading articles about other people's surrogacy journeys! Surrogates are really some of the most selfless people out there.

Read here

It's all Happening!

Our surrogate got all of her medication today!

She has her baseline ultrasound tomorrow, so fingers crossed everything goes smoothly!