First Surrogate is a No-Go

Well, onward and upward.

From my last post, we thought we'd found the perfect surrogate and decided to move forward. She and I had talked on the phone about our hopes for the future and she seemed like a really amazing person.

After some back-and-forth with the contract, we finally all came to an agreement, and Mr. Bee and I had our contract signed and notarized. We were so excited to move forward and have a July transfer.

Today, we received a call from the surrogate that her husband was no longer behind her, and she would not be moving forward. She wished us the best and told us she thought we'd be great parents.

I was in total shock. If I had answered the phone instead of Mr. Bee, I have no idea what I would have said. I don't get angry, I just get sad. And after the cryfest that was Mother's Day yesterday, I didn't have enough tears left to deal with this disappointment.

As for next steps, we all decided to sleep on it tonight and re-group tomorrow with our agency. I know in my heart that we'll find someone who is a perfect fit. Someone who wants to do this for altruistic reasons. And when that happens I'll be over-the-moon happy. My story isn't going to stop here.

First Surrogate Meeting

Tonight is going to be our first meeting with a surrogate. So far, all I know is that she's married with a son, and has had a twin surrogacy for a couple over a year ago. She sounds amazing and her picture made me instantly feel like she'd be someone I would want to be friends with.

I honestly have no idea how this is going to go. I know I'll ask random questions out of anxiousness and hope she doesn't think I'm a total weirdo. I know that if it doesn't go well, we will eventually find someone who is a perfect fit for us.

I didn't get much sleep last night and I'm a bit out of sorts at work today, but I'm just keeping my fingers and toes crossed right now that things will go well. All you can do is hope, right?

Beating the no Baby Blues

The past two years have been really tough getting through the holidays. People posting pictures of their babies looking at Christmas lights, opening presents, and I think of that void in my life I found this great article called "Beating the no Baby Blues," which offers some helpful tips about getting through the times when not having a child is unbearable.

"The point is that there is no magic bullet that will destroy what is trying to destroy you--whether it be cancer, infertility, divorce, or loneliness. Without implementing positive strategies for dealing with adversity, sooner or later, we are bound to become undone. And so, in the spirit of the holidays, I share the things I’ve found most helpful.

 1.) Go for a hike. Fresh air and exercise are a time-honored prescription for feeling better.
2.) Cry. Opening up to what hurts is one way of making sure it doesn’t take you down.
3.) Hug your ________ (husband, dog, sister, mom, dad, cat, best friend) and tell them you love them. I believe the energy you put out into the world is the energy you get back.
4.) Take charge of your life by mapping out goals and options. Is adoption feasible? Does your acupuncturist know of anyone who might surrogate for you?
5.) Give yourself a break. Take the rock out of your shoe and put it in a mental box. Tie it up with a brightly colored bow and store it in a dark corner of your mind. When you unwrap it again next year, perhaps you’ll have a new perspective."

Here's the rest of the article from Suzanne Rico: http://www.fertilityauthority.com/blogger/suzanne-rico/2012/12/02/beating-no-baby-blues