A few editions later, I've been hoarding them. I haven't opened them because it hurts too much to read about kids crafting activities and back to school shopping when I can't participate with my own children.
The newest magazine came in the mail today. I'm scared, but I have hope. I know that there may still be heartbreak, and there's no easy way to deal with disappointment. I'm still sad when seeing friend's with Facebook announcements about new babies, and even holding my friend's babies fill me with such a sense of sadness and longing. I want it so badly for me and Mr. Bee, and knowing that it could be so soon is giving me faith.
Our GS had her first baseline ultrasound on Friday and everything went great! She also started her estradiol valerate injections. I felt so bad because the monitoring clinic wouldn't show her how to do one beause she's not "technically" her patient. So hopefully I was able to send over enough YouTube videos to help her through her injections.
I seriously still can't believe that we're working with such an amazing person who is willing to endure the shots, blood draws, then grow our babies for us, and give them back. I can't deal with what a gift it is.
I may not read the magazinze today, but at least I have that I may read it soon.