Grow Eggs, Grow!

I was really hoping I'd have my IUI done by tomorrow, but it's not looking that way. I went in to the doctor today to have my ultrasound done. My lining is still really thin, so they gave me an Estradiol patch to wear for the next 3 days (Vivelle).

My little eggs are definitely growing, but not as much as they should be. I'll have three more days of Bravelle shots to make them more egg-cellent. The doctor did see that I have dominant follicles in both ovaries, so it looks like I'll ovulate on both sides. That ups my chances of twins, and hopefully at least gives me a better chance.

The money factor with all of this is killer. We weren't anticipating the extra medicine or ultrasound, and on top of everything it's just a lot. Not to mention I am a huge bundle of emotions. I either want to cry or kill someone. I've been praying for patience daily. Everyone around me is probably doing the same.

So I'll have more shots, hopefully even more egg-cellent eggs, hopefully a kick-ass lining, and in the end, a Baby Bee. Thanks for all of your amazing comments and prayers, they are definitely appreciated!

My first (and hopefully last) shot

Last night Mr. Bee gave me my first (and hopefully last ever) shot of Bravelle. In my stomach. And I didn't die.

I honestly don't know how all you ladies are able to give yourself shots daily.

Now I'm just waiting until I get a positive OPK and then I'll make the call to my doctor to go in for IUI. My life is filled with so many abbreviations these days!

Decision Time

I was going to add a picture of a Thanksgiving turkey and a turkey baster, but I'd hate if future Baby Bee didn't have a sense of humor and didn't appreciate my reference.

Yes, I'm going in for IUI next week. I'm prepping by taking 5 mg of Femara and giving myself a shot of Bravelle. In my stomach. Ok, Mr. Bee might end up being the one giving me the shot in the stomach. But either way, it's going down next week.

I know that IUI isn't 100%. Or 50%. Or even 30%. But I'm really praying that this is it. It's so hard to justify going through all of the emotions and hormones and financial costs without even being 30% sure something will work. But I'm putting my faith in the hands of God and the doctor and hoping for a baby. No, this isn't the most romantic approach, but in the long run, does it really matter?

OH - I forgot to mention the other good news - all of my cysts are gone! At my last ultrasound they checked and the cysts in my ovaries and the large one are all gone. Could not believe it. 

So lots of good news, lots of decisions made. And then two more weeks of waiting to see if it works. I guess that's why this blog is called "Waiting for Bee" and not "Bee is Here" or "Bee NOW". I'd be ok with having to change it though. 

More waiting and whining

Yesterday was a bad day for me.

It started out when I hit a bird with my car while I was driving to work. I've never killed a thing in my life. I was a vegetarian for 13 years. I live at altitude, so birds actually fly really low here. It was just my luck (and the bird's) that it collided with my windshield. I freaked out and then cried for about 20 minutes at work. I didn't see it in the road after so I'm praying that it was just stunned and it's ok. God only knows I don't need a ghost bird being all invisible and pecking my head all day. 

I've been trying to get in touch with someone at my RE's office for 3 days now to figure out costs and treatment. I knew I was going on Femara, but didn't know what the injectable was. Someone called me back yesterday to tell me the other drug is Bravelle. I don't know how long I'll need to take it for, but one vial costs $100. Online I've found that most people do at least 5 days of it which = $500. 

On top of that, even though my insurance said they'll cover 6 visits, they really only cover the initial consultation. Which means my last ultrasound was $200 that I still owe. Along with the next treatment I'll have to have at least 2 more ultrasounds, which = $400 total.

Oh, and I also found out yesterday we owe $350 in taxes.

Numbers overwhelm me, so I'm just going to round up and say that everything costs a million dollars. It seems like it. 

I went on a message board yesterday and was asking some other people about the treatment. They were all on-board that if I'm going through all of this with medications, ultrasounds and giving away all my money that I should just do IUI to get a better shot. IUI = $400. I actually thought it would be a whole lot more. Then I went to my Junior League meeting and sat with all of my pregnant friends who talked about being pregnant, including my friend who went off the pill the same time I did and is having twins. Talk about a crappy day. Happy for them, wish I was happy for me.

So now we're talking about waiting a little longer until Mr. Bee's job is secured for at least another year. Which made me cry more because I feel like I've already been waiting forever, I'm just getting older and all of my good eggs are dying. And I want to have kids earlier rather than later so my parents will be around a lot longer to enjoy them. Can you tell I'm dramatic and PMSing? Thank god for Peppermint Patties.

Results - Finally

I feel like I've been waiting for this doctor's appointment for an eternity!

First the good news - my cyst has gone from being 2 inches to now being measured in millimeters. My doctor was extremely happy with the progress and that it is almost gone. Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers!

The not-so-great news is that I do have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). I've always had a suspicion that I did, but none of my lab work showed it. The PCOS explains my non-existent periods, weight gain, and all those other fun side effects. The good news is that now that I know I'm able to do things that can help to control it (diet and medication).

So from here, my doctor told me to come in as soon as I've finished my pack of pills I'll go back in (so in about two weeks) and we'll start my new medication protocol, which will include Femara and an injectable medication. I'm nervous to be this gung-ho about it since I was really hoping that it would just "happen" but I already know that my body doesn't work the way I'd like it to. So as long as medication results in a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby, I'm ok with it.

If anyone has any stories about their own PCOS experiences or can share any blogs I'd love to read them. Thank you all again for your support!