An Update of Sorts

I've been putting off updating because...I have absolutely no good news.

We decided to go ahead and do another FET cycle. I started taking Estrace to help build my lining towards the end of September, with the transfer date right around Halloween. When I went in for my first lab tests, my Estrogen level was sky high (around 2,000 when it should've been around 3-400), and my lining was still craptastically thin.

We decided to up the Estrace anyway and go ahead as planned. When we went for the lining check before the transfer, my lining was still thin (only 6.5 when they were shooting for a min. of 8). We postponed the transfer a week and stayed on medication, hoping waiting for a week would help. Instead, it somehow had an opposite effect, and my lining reduced to 5.5. The transfer cycle was canceled. Crying ensued.

It hurts so badly to put so much time, money and energy into something that comes to people so easily. Mr. Bee and I went to lunch this weekend and ended up at the sushi bar next to a woman bragging that she spent almost her whole pregnancy in rehab. Really? Really?!? I hear things like that and don't understand how there is a God who gives children to people who don't care and can't care for them.

Things have been tough for both me and Mr. Bee. Insurance doesn't cover anything (not even lab tests), so every time we attempt a cycle it's like we're throwing money away.

Trying to keep my head up and find hope. The next cycle we try we're adding Viagra in hopes to get more blood flow to the uterus. Other than that, there's really not much we can do. And if it doesn't work, at least my husband should enjoy me being a love machine for an entire month. At least that's how I think Viagra works.

...sorry if you were stopping by and hoping not to read about linings or Viagra or meth addicts.